I wrote a song yesterday. It's called 'When'. It's much nicer when I play it on the guitar

WHEN

When... when I see the smile upon your face,
The greatest joy I feel, the greatest love I taste,
When... when you say that "I'm so happy now",
I fly into the sky and I don't know why...

Or how... but I'm so in love with you,
Believe me that these words I say are true,

Chorus:

I... I don't want to find my way back home,
Without you in my life, I will feel so cold,
I... I just want to find my way to you,
In my darkest night, your light will shine through.

When... when there are times it's only you and me,
My soul will find it's peace, my spirit will run free,
When... when you say that "you're God's gift to me",
All that I can see, is that we're meant to be...

You and me... through the thick and thin I'm by your side,
There's nothing in my heart that I will hide.

I... I don't want to find my way back home,
Without you in my life, I will feel so cold,
I... I just want to find my way to you,
In my darkest night, your light will shine through.

I'm on the 'sappy love movie' marathon that's going to continue on all summer long. Here are the movies that I've watched so far:

1) Moulin Rouge
2) Shakespeare in Love
3) Phantom of the Opera
4) Romeo and Juliet
5) Closer
6) Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
7) The Notebook
8) Alfie

Here's an interesting quote from 'Alfie':

Alfie: What have I got? Really? Some money in my pocket, some nice threads, fancy car at my disposal, and I'm single. Yeah... unattached, free as a bird... I don't depend on nobody and nobody depends on me... My life's my own. But I don't have peace of mind. And if you don't have that, you've got nothing. So... what's the answer? That's what I keep asking myself. What's it all about? You know what I mean?

Here's some random rambling that I wrote while I was at the airport (coming back from Boston):

This mysterious feeling creeps into me.
Without warning, without reason.
Like the blow of the wind it sweeps me over.
Senseless, mindless.
Like a small child I can only feel.
Let me feel then.

Don't you ask why? How? When?
It just is.
No longer can I trace the logic behind this.
Oh wait... why should I?
Isn't this life lived by feeling?
Enough of us trying to figure this out.
Like a small child I can only feel.
Let me feel then.

Love...
Not bound by the rules of physics nor any equations of mathematics.
Nay..
Love transcends all that.
In this world of made up assumptions and simplifications...only love makes senses.
But let the truth be told...as sensible as love is...
It may very well be the hardest thing to understand.
Maybe it is not meant to be understood.
Like a small child we can only feel.
Let us feel then...

A DAY WORTH LIVING

I had an awesome day today. Woke up late, then went shopping with Steph at Shadyside. Bought myself a nice purple-pink-red shirt from GAP. Steph bought a blue skirt from J. Crew which I think is incerdibly cute. We then met up with Melissa and Rob at the math & physics lounge(what's wrong with us, guys?? We're having a freaking holiday. Ppl don't go to the lounge during holidays!! :P) Ah well..I'll be going to the lounge again tommorow to paint it. It's gonna be fun!! Anyways, we met up with Nick, picked up Craig and went to dinner at Bangkok Balcony with Nikki and Todd. I had the Tilapia dish and it was so good. Let me say it again... SO GOOD. We then went back to Craig's house to watch Spaceballs. Now I'm back here in my room feeling so tired. But it was a superb day. I wish my that life in cmu has been this way for the past 4 years. It's sad that I only got close to them in my senior year. You guys are awesome :) Thanks for making my day. See you guys tommorrow...

Nothing like an ol' Bon Jovi song to express what I'm feeling:

I should have seen it coming when roses died
Should have seen the end of summer in your eyes
I should have listened when you said good night
You really meant good bye
Baby, ain’t it funny, how you never ever learn to fall
You’re really on your knees, when you think you’re standing tall
But only fools are know-it-alls and I played that fool for you

I cried and I cried
There were nights that died for you baby
I tried and I tried to deny that your love drove me crazy, baby

If the love that I got for you is gone
If the river I cried ain’t that long
Then I’m wrong, yeah I’m wrong, this ain’t a love song

Baby, I thought you and me would stand the test of time
Like we got away with the perfect crime but
We were just a legend in my mind
I guess that I was blind
Remember those nights dancing at the masquerade
The clowns wore smiles that wouldn’t fade
You and I were the renegades, some things never change

It made me so mad ’cause I wanted it bad for us baby
Now it’s so sad that whatever we had, ain’t worth saving
If the love that I got for you is gone
If the river I’ve cried ain’t that long
Then I’m wrong, yes I’m wrong, this ain’t a love song

If the pain that I’m feeling so strong
Is the reason that I’m holding on
Then I’m wrong, yeah I’m wrong - this ain’t a love song...

We sleep and dream of our waking life..and so shall we wake up and live our dreams. Isn't that what life is? Constant struggle to live out our dreams...
Now you speak of things happening the way they're supposed to. Let me tell you this, things do happen the way they're supposed to. And we humans are supposed to strive to achieve our dreams... that IS what supposed to happen. How can fate give us what we deserve if we ourselves do not do what we are supposed to? Letting things be will only bring regret if anything.

And you speak of strength.. do you understand what it is? It is not achieved by being in control nor is it achieved by being independent. Strength lies in the courage to embrace the path that leads to our dream knowing that the path is dangerous and risky. Strength is in admitting that you need other people in your life and thus you do your best to keep their heart close to yours. Strength is in accepting who you are and who you are not.

Now let me tell you this...
I don't think I am weak. Yes I'm sad, yes I weep, yes I whine... but at least I admit that all those things are part of me. I readily accept it as my imperfections in life. And I strive to overcome those...even if it means by needing other people in my life. If anything, my constant, unfailing strive to have YOU in my life to ease my pain is my STRENGTH.

I know my dreams...and one of them is having someone to love, to share all my joy, pain and dreams with. And my constant quest for love is my strength..never shall it be my weakness..never. Things are supposed to happen the way they should... I chase my dream and fate shall give me what I deserve for that effort.
Now you ask yourself... What is your dream? Have you strived hard enough to achieve it? I can assure you this... letting things be is a sign that you are not strong enough. Nay, letting things be is a sign that you are WEAK. That you are so afraid to embrace that risky and dangerous path.

Yes you are right, we only live this life once... and I'm not gonna do something that I might regret. I feel that you are....

Here's a few lines from the movie 'Waking life':

Man on the Train: Hey, are you a dreamer?

Wiley: Yeah.

Man on the Train: I haven't seen too many around lately. Things have been tough lately for dreamers. They say dreaming is dead, no one does it anymore. It's not dead it's just that it's been forgotten, removed from our language. Nobody teaches it so nobody knows it exists. The dreamer is banished to obscurity. Well, I'm trying to change all that, and I hope you are too. By dreaming, every day. Dreaming with our hands and dreaming with our minds.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

I'm a dreamer, and I shall dream on...

This is a such a lovely song...

Come What May by Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
I want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day i'm loving you more than this
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Oh, come what may, come what may
I will love you, I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place